I had experienced a couple of perfect days, not due to constant happiness, but due to my ability to consciously permit everything to come and go in these moments. Free from resistance. Today is different.
The day has passed slowly, occupied with training myself in being relaxed, loosen tension, and accepting that I can't hold on to the momentum I had until yesterday.
“The diamond cannot be polished without friction, nor the person perfected without trials.” ~Chinese proverb
No, I don't have much to say today, and that's Okay. What is also Okay, is the fact that I'm not contented with it being Okay.
I thought to use my example to explain the mechanism that takes place and how to work with it whenever you're having a seemingly bad day.
We all know these days. Without a concrete reason, we sometimes wake up, lacking motivation for whatever "needs" to be done. This can have multiple root-causes.
It can be your body just being overwhelmed from the past days, or your body might be busy in fighting a virus even before you notice any obvious symptoms. Sometimes you simply didn't have enough sleep, like it's for me at the moment. Or maybe you just expect too much of yourself.
Yet these days require us to be mindful and not getting lost in our mind's universe.
“Not until we are lost we begin to find ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau
It can be so easy if we handle it right from the moment we first realize that this isn't our day. Rather than listening to our body, understanding our needs, and responding appropriately, we unconsciously fall into a trap of our mind that keeps the wheel on spinning.
I noticed thoughts of not having written enough and of not being up to my plans. Being conscious about it, I know, these have nothing to-do with my current mood. They just pop up as a reaction from my inner belief of not being good enough. Driven by this belief, my mind suggesting me a plausible reason for my "bad day" experience. But these thoughts only keep me low, although all I need is rest for my body.
Inner beliefs take a while to dissolve and thus, these thoughts still come to my mind, but can't drag me on unconsciously forever. I'm able to spot them and work with it.
How does this work look like?
Like a ball that pulsates in slow-motion. That's what I feel in my belly while working with it.
Tension builds up with each of such thoughts.
Tension goes while realizing the underlying belief and direct my focus on the present again.
The most tricky part is to accept the rising thoughts and to forgive yourself for having built such beliefs. To let them be in this moment while remaining conscious about them. Without the acceptance, you will continue in experiencing resistance. Holding you away from the now; Holding on to this belief; Suffering.
To support acceptance, it helps to remind you again and again that this is a journey. It takes time and that's Okay. Focus on the little progress you're doing. After all, you're able to spot these thoughts now, and taking conscious action to work with them. You aren't a slave anymore, and that's huge progress.
While working mentally and emotionally with it, also make sure you take action towards your actual need. If your body needs rest, then allow yourself to postpone everything that needs to be done if possible. Enjoy a tea, or some more sleep even during the day. If you can't right now, because you might be at work. Just make sure you do as soon as you can. A small conscious break, going for a 5 minutes walk or whatever is possible then, already helps.
Yes, it is Okay to let the world behind and just do nothing.
Whatever is, show yourself some love. Self-compassion. Even if you don't know what it is you really need at that moment. It's a journey. You'll get to know yourself better as you move on.
Enjoy the moment.
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